Sunday, 12 September 2010

Goodbye Sweet Taffy

This is the hardest post to share on my blog and I have tried several times this week to come in and add the news that we lost our gorgeous sweet donkey sized dog Taffy last Friday. Since Christmas this year Taffy has overcome surgery, a  rare disease that effected his blood and still brilliantly enjoyed life to the very end. His passion for sneaking cat food which he knew he wasn't allowed stayed with him even on the morning he passed away when he had his last bowl which was intended for the cats who he adored.

All Summer I have been worried about leaving him for any length of time in case he passed away while I was not by his side. I almost cancelled workshops in Norway but my husband stayed with Taffy so that I  didn't let everyone down there who had booked and looked forward to the watercolour sessions. Every day I rang home to see how he was and each time I heard he was fine I relaxed but the flight home saw me huryring to get back to the four legged companion who had loved me for over thirteen years.

Taffy did not want to lose the battle and he did not want to say goodbye.The vet who was with me when Taffy had his last hug and kiss knew my heart was breaking. Everyone knew my beloved boys system had started to shut down. His blood count was so frighteningly low that he couldn't go on any longer and yet he   still looked at me with loving eyes as if to apologise for not being able to stay with me.

I fell into a million broken pieces when he took his last breath. I still feel broken and I am simply going through the motions of my routine and daily life. Nothing can give me that feeling of joy as Taffys nose nuzzled my hand and no one can make me laugh out loud the way he did with his comical behaviour. He had a way of wrapping me around his  paw whenever he wanted something.

To many of my artist friends Taffy was a gorgeous subject to paint. He has lived in Dubai, France, Hong Kong,Belgium and met dogsthat I jokingly teased barked in many different languages.

I loved him in a way that those with a close bond with their pets will understand. Taffy could have been in a movie as his life was so extraordinary.

How I am dealing with his loss isn't as good as it should be. Emotionally I falter and I cry easily when I think no one is looking. I feel shaky inside and know this feeling has to pass.
But for now I am truly grieving for one of the most  incredible dogs I will ever know in my lifetime.

Thank you so much to everyone who has sent cards and well wishes of support.

My heart is broken but they say time heals.

Sleep with angels sweet  Taffy.



  1. Jean,
    Of course you are crying often and faltering emotionally. You don't have to be "doing well" at a time like this; your heart is truly broken. All of us who love our dogs so deeply know that losing a beloved dog is one of the hardest losses there is. Our dogs are with us even more than the people we love, including our spouses, because our spouses go to work, whereas our dogs' "work" is to be with us and love us, so we are accustomed to their nearly constant presence.

    I am sure that nearly every moment you are reminded of Taffy and your loss, and I am so sorry for the pain and deep sadness you are feeling. Know that you are in my thoughts often.


  2. Dear Jean,
    Although we've never met and you don't know me at all, I just want to let you know, that I can feel your pain, just by reading your blogpost about the loss of your beardie Taffy.
    Tears are running down my cheek for I too know what it means to loose a friend.
    There's nothing I can say to make you feel better, but please know that I'm thinking of you and I wish you all the best.

  3. Thank you Melissa and Marianne

    They say time heals and it is early days yet but I still hurt and miss my faithful friend so much. I have had terrible problems with Bailey our younger dog pining but now I think we are definitely on an uphill climb as he is eating again and more lively.......

    It really does help to know that my words were read and that you understand how I feel, thank you so much...